6 Modules · 19 Lessons · Self-Paced

The Unmaking.

Recovery after a relationship that made you doubt yourself.

Relationship harm is not dramatic in the way people imagine. It is quiet. Cumulative. Built from small moments of being diminished, dismissed, or rewritten — until the self that was there at the beginning becomes hard to find.

6Modules
19Lessons
Self-Paced
Start the Course — Included with Membership See all modules

Included with your My Inner Foundation membership.

Understand the dynamics of harmful relationship patterns with enough precision to trust your own perception of them, rather than continuing to carry the version you were given.Name what actually happened
Address the physiological aftermath — the hypervigilance, the flinch, the chronic activation — rather than waiting for cognitive understanding to resolve what the body is still holding.Work with the body's residue
Develop the capacity to trust your own perceptions, your own memory, and your own reading of situations: the trust that was specifically targeted and specifically damaged.Rebuild self-trust
People trying to make sense of a relationship that left them not recognising themselvesThis may be for you
Anyone who has been told they were too sensitive, too demanding, or the problem, and has been wondering ever sinceThis may be for you
What this course helps you explore
People trying to make sense of a relationship that left them not recognising themselves Anyone who has been told they were too sensitive, too demanding, or the problem, and has been wondering ever since People whose self-trust was systematically dismantled and who want to rebuild it Anyone in the early, middle, or later stages of recovery who wants a map Name what actually happened Work with the body's residue Rebuild self-trust Find what went quiet
The Premise

The work beneath
The Unmaking.

This course is designed to help you slow the pattern down, understand what is happening underneath it, and begin practising a steadier, kinder way forward. It does not ask you to become someone else. It helps you return to yourself with more clarity, language, and choice.

Relationship harm is not dramatic in the way people imagine. It is quiet. Cumulative. Built from small moments of being diminished, dismissed, or rewritten — until the self that was there at the beginning becomes hard to find.
The Course

6 Modules. 19 Lessons

Each module is a place to understand one layer more clearly. Move slowly. Let the language meet the part of your life that has needed more care, more honesty, and a more hopeful way forward.

01
Module 1
The Mechanism, Not the Person

A clear account of what harmful relationship patterns actually are: the dynamics, the patterns, the specific way a self gets systematically dismantled over time. Understanding the mechanism is the beginning of trusting your own perception again.

02
Module 2
The Body That Survived

Relationship harm is held in the body: the hypervigilance, the flinch, the chronic low-level activation that persists long after the relationship has ended. This module works with the physiological residue.

03
Module 3
Trusting Yourself Again

Reality erosion does specific damage to self-trust. The process of rebuilding: learning to trust your own perceptions, your own memory, your own sense of what happened — in the face of a history that taught you not to.

04
Module 4
Finding the Parts That Went Quiet

The self that was there before. The preferences, the opinions, the ways of being that were systematically discouraged or punished. Finding what went quiet — and whether it is still there.

05
Module 5
Grieving What Hurt You

The grief of this particular kind of loss: not only the relationship but the years, the version of yourself that existed before, the reality you thought you were living in. The grief that comes when the full picture is finally visible.

06
Module 6
The Return

Recovery from harmful relationship patterns is not a straight line and it is not quick. This module works with what the return actually looks like: the non-linear process of finding yourself again, and what holds through the difficulty of doing so.

Begin when you are ready

The Unmaking.

Recovery after a relationship that made you doubt yourself.

Start the Course — Included with Membership

Included with your My Inner Foundation membership.

Common Questions

Frequently asked

What are harmful relationship patterns?

A harmful relationship pattern may include psychological pressure, intermittent reinforcement (alternating warmth and coldness), reality erosion (causing the other person to doubt their own perception and memory), projection (attributing their own behaviours to the person harmed), and the systematic erosion of the person harmed's sense of self. It is rarely dramatic. It is typically quiet, cumulative, and hard to name while it is happening.

What is reality erosion?

Reality erosion is the practice of causing someone to doubt their own perception of reality: their memory of events, their emotional reactions, their assessment of situations. Over time, reality erosion causes the person to lose trust in their own judgement and to rely on the other person’s version of events. Module 3 of this course is specifically on rebuilding self-trust after it has been systematically dismantled.

I am not sure how to name what happened. Is this course still useful?

Yes. The course focuses on the mechanism and the experience: the specific patterns of confusion, self-doubt, and self-loss that this kind of relationship produces, rather than on diagnosis of the other person. If the patterns described in this course resonate with your experience, the course is relevant regardless of what label you apply.

How long does recovery take?

Recovery from harmful relationship patterns is non-linear and varies significantly depending on the duration and intensity of the relationship, the support available, and the individual's history. This course does not promise a timeline. It provides a framework for understanding the mechanism and a structured path through the specific stages of recovery.

My Inner Foundation
Olivia Fox

A course by Olivia Fox, founder of My Inner Foundation. She writes about what she has lived, worked through herself, and sat with in others — translating real inner work and years of supporting people through these exact struggles into language that is precise, honest, and genuinely useful.

You might also explore
The Child You Were → A Course on Grief → Through the Fire → The Invisible Weight →

Written with care

A gentle note before you begin

My Inner Foundation courses are educational and reflective. They are not therapy, diagnosis, medical advice, or crisis support. If you are in immediate danger or need urgent mental-health support, please contact local emergency services or a qualified professional.

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